Summer Fun

This past week has been kind of a whirlwind as far as figuring out my life goes. Working out all these things like who’s going to get the car, who’s going to live in the house, where we are actually going to live, gets very emotional and draining af. Everything has been so back and forth but I think it’s finally all starting to balance out (thank god). It’s been frustrating to say the least but I really am looking forward to the future. Everything is working itself out, I guess it just takes a little patience.

 

So I’m in search of a new car. Brandon offered to buy mine since he uses it most of the time anyways. But taking care of Eliza while vehicle-less is turning out to be quite a challenge. So Tuesday, Eliza and I woke up early and started dealership hopping. It’s been kind of fun looking around and test driving cars with her. Single mom life isn’t so bad!

My work life is picking up. I’ve got some really awesome shops solidly stocking up on Sam Wish which is pretty exciting. And I’ve also started working at a mobile boutique which is turning out to be pretty fun. It’s flexible and right up my alley! Now I just need to get a car so I can actually take care of all of that, but all in good time!

I’m also considering going back to school? I’m thinking of getting my bachelor’s in business. There’s a University of Houston campus like 3 miles from my dad’s house, I could bike there! Or even run (if I was that motivated… or fit). I’m a little on the edge about that though. I’m not sure I’m ready to go back to school for another few years. Plus I’m not sure about the commitment that would require from me…. But I mean, I’m here. I might as well, right? We’ll see. I have about a month to decide on whether I want to do that or now. 

Also, I’m planning some fun trips for the rest of the summer. I’ve got a lot of adventures in the works!!  I’m still working out all the details, I’ll post about it soon buuuuuuuut I’m pretty excited about it. I forgot how much I love planning things. And dreaming. Like really big, fulfilling dreams. It’s making my heart feel so full again.

My summer is getting pretty booked up, it should be smooth sailing from here on out! Just a lot of work and play. Until Eliza goes back to school that is! Until then, I’m looking forward to having fun with her and trying not to take everything so seriously. I just want to live in my bathing suit, do lots of cuddling and sleeping in, and maybe make some things along the way. Oh and travel.  And spend time with the people I love. Yes. All of those things. And I will be set. 

Yayyyyy summer. 

A Little Austin For My Soul

This past weekend I took a little mini vacation to Austin, TX with my dad and brother and boy was it good. Exactly what this gal needed. 
>> As soon as we arrived late Friday night, we headed straight to Trudy's for some stuffed avocado goodness (my favorite) and the most delicious margaritas in town. I left with a fully belly (and minor stumble) but passed out quick and slept very well on my twin sized air mattress. 
>> Saturday morning, we woke up at 6:00am for this 25 mile group bike ride we were planning to attend (wishful thinking) but then made an executive decision to skip it in favor of a closer-to-home neighborhood ride, just the three of us... oh and 2 extra hours of sleep! It was still rough though, those Austin hills get me every time.
>> The rest of our Saturday morning consisted of helping my dad move the remainder of my sister's stuff to storage, grabbing some lunch (sushi, yess), and then heading out to the Greenbelt for one of the best adventures I've had in Austin yet. 
>> So we trekked miles through the slickest of muds, literally gliding across it for a good majority of the way, and made it to two different waterfalls. We jumped off trees, falls, and cliffs (into water of course), found a cave, a few new friends, and even a dog named pig. It actually started pouring on us as soon as we made it to the second falls but it was absolutely perfect. The storm cleared out 95% of the people so we ened up having most of the place all to ourselves! 
>> At one point I ended up sitting by myself in the shallow water, enjoying my surroundings while some small fish hid from the current behind my feet and nibbled on my toes. I actually tried to catch them but turns out my reflexes were no match for those tiny little pests... plus the refraction of the water was definitely throwing off my hand to fish coordination. Oh well, better luck next time. 
>> It was a really, really wonderful little adventure though. So relaxing and so much fun, it was exactly what I needed. There's something about mud squishing between your toes, swimming with all of your clothes on, and walking through the woods in the pouring rain that is so extremely grounding. I loved every minute of it. 
>> When we finally made it back to our home base, I took *the best* hot shower ever and quickly changed into some clean, dry clothes for dinner at my dad's favorite Italian restaurant. I spilt wine all over my brother's shirt (it's ok, I washed it out immediately) and ate wayy to much fettuccine alfredo (which kind of made me sick) but it was fabulous. Then we took a quick rest before heading back out for a night on the town with my daddio for his Father's day celebration. We went to Rainey Street and hit up Lucille's (the name of my dad's mom so of course we had to go), Craft Pride (a bunch of craft beers, not my choice), and Blackheart where we listened to a Nigerian rock band finish out their set. 
>> At about 1:00, my dad was ready to retire so we had him drop us off for a quick dance sesh and last call drinks at Barbarellas. Oh and I bought this amazing necklace from a vendor that was just set up outside! 



>> Somehow we befriended these boys that invited us to play pool. So after the bar closed down, that's where we headed. Oh!! But as I was leaving, this beautiful gypsy man that had been watching me all night (it's so peculiar being single ya'll) stopped me outside, took my hand, told me I looked like a nice person, whispered his name, and slipped me his business card saying something along the lines of, "This is what I do, this is my music, this is me". Then he turned around and disappeared into the crowd. Apparently he's a part of this Eurasian Prog Core band.... don't ask me what that means because I have no idea. If I had to describe him, I would say he looked like the love child of Brad Pitt and Heath Ledger. Not a bad combo if I do say so myself. 

>> Thaaaat was bizarre but not the last strange encounter of the night! So we proceeded to this billiard room to play pool with our new friends. And theeeeeeen this random (and seemingly out of place) group of hippies walk in and with them is this other person that I totally knew!! Well by knew him, I mean I had seen him before. And by seen him before I really mean, he was a performer at the Archaic Revival festival I went to and I had watched him (probably for hours), completely mesmerized by his mad fire poi skills. I had never seen someone, in person at least, with such great rhythm and flow with the poi. It. Was. Magical. And I never thought I would see him again but there he was! And I could tell he recognized me too because I saw him give me the double take when he walked in and saw me sitting there. But I was too shy and slightly inebriated to make anything of it. Oh well. 

>> We ended our night shortly after that and hit the road the next day. 

Besides a few minor hiccups, it was a truly enjoyable weekend. I was accompanied by my brother and dad and it was so fun to just get to hang out with the both of them. My dad has been extremely helpful lately, he's basically been my rock through all of the craziness that is my life right now. And my brother is basically my best friend. He's my partner in crime, it's so easy to relax and have a good time with him.... Sometimes that's all you need. 

Brandon had Eliza for the weekend (since it was Father's day) so I got to have a little break from mommy-ing too. As much as I love that little bugger, it's nice to just be a 24 year old sometimes. 



Well that's all for now. I had a really great weekend and I wanted to write it all down before I forget. It's nice to be able to do that again. It's nice to be able to put my thoughts into words. I've missed blogging. It's so good for my soul. 
Oh and before I leave, I just wanted to express my gratitude for all of you guys leaving me the sweetest of comments. It really touches my heart and I just wanted to say how much I truly appreciate all of the love and support. So much love to you guys!

Life Lately

// Moving back into my dad's w/Eliza // Setting up my new studio // Figuring out how to work (like actually, productively) in this place // Getting used to our summer schedule aka having Eliza all day long  // Training for my new job, driving around a fashion boutique (!!) // Planning lots of summer adventures  // Thinking about going back to school in the fall // Binge watching Orange Is The New Black  // Staying dry and lazy. Tropical Storm Bill ya'll  // Still working things out with Brandon such as the one car we shared, who's going to end up with the house, who gets to keep our kitty, and how we're going to share our time with Eliza  // Enjoying my own bedroom and bathroom. Seriously // Also, a dishwasher?! And gas stove. It's the little things.  // Hanging out with my brother and dad. They're kind of the best. // Working on my summer tan  // Not keeping up with my workout schedule or healthy eating diet #yolo  // And just adjusting to this new life in general 

Amidst all the chaos and absolute shit storm that this is *sometimes*, I truly believe that this is exactly where I need to be right now. I'm still trying to figure everything out, but who isn't? Despite the hard times, I finally feel like I am where I'm supposed to be. And I wake up happy. And that's something I'm really, really excited about. I've got a lot to look forward to in the next few months. And I really, really love being at my dad's house right now. It's always been like a sanctuary to me, my safe place. It's nice to be here right now, it makes the transition easier on my heart. 
I feel like everything's going to be ok. 
(: 

Real Talk

Guys. I don't even know where to begin. This blog has been a huge part of my life the past 5 years and it feels so strange that it has fallen by the wayside and almost been forgotten. And I'm not sure whether that's a good thing or bad thing. I do miss it but I can say that I have definitely needed the privacy this absence has given me and the ability to keep my thoughts to myself for a while. 
Life has been really hard for me the past 6 months. I mean, it's been hard for a lot longer than that. 
Sure I've had good days, even some pretty great ones but at the core, I have been really, really unhappy. And it took me a really long time to come to terms with that and accept what it meant. And to be honest, I'm still not *totally* sure what it means. I think in the future, when I look back on every thing as a whole, things will make much more sense. But that horrible feeling that I've had all this time, it's not who I am. I tried to fight it for so long. I tried to fix things, I tried to fix everything. I tried so hard to just be happy where I was. But in the end, I just had to stop fighting the current and just see where the flow would take me. And now that I've finally accepted that I was forcing myself down a path that is no longer for me, I feel like a weight has been lifted and my world seems a little (or a lot) brighter. And now I feel the need to be open about it because I can't hold it in anymore. I don't really want to. 
So Brandon and I are splitting up. 


I don't think I could possibly sum up everything that has led me to this decision to end our partnership. Not right now. Because it's a little bit of everything and a really long story. But I have to say that it took me a long, long time to finally come to this conclusion. It took me months of denial, and pain, and frustration, and deep, deep sadness before I finally decided to call it quits. And it breaks my heart to put a wedge in our family like this but I just can't live like that anymore. 
I don't know what's going to happen. I don't know what we're going to do with the tiny home. I don't know what we're going to do with Eliza. I don't know what the fuck I'm going to do with my life. 
But I do know that for the first time in a long time, I can wake up every morning without a terrible dread in my heart. And even though I have some really hard days, at the core I feel so relieved. And finally happy. Like a deep, peaceful contentment. And honestly, that's all that matters to me right now. 
The promise I made myself at the beginning of the year was to love myself more. And I don't know why it lead me to this but I've just got this feeling that everything's going to be alright, despite all the hard conversations, many tears, and temporary grief. I'm learning more and more to follow my heart and trying to do what's best for me. Because at some point you have to start caring about yourself more than others, right? As much as I love to help people, I need to take care of myself first. Sacrificing my needs isn't doing anyone any favors. Just slowly killing myself in the process. 


So that's that. I don't know where I'm going from here. But I think that's ok. 

Tiny Home // News Interview

A few days ago Brandon and I did an interview for Fox 26 news about our tiny home! I've been planning on doing another  tiny home video tour but I guess this is just as good! So without further ado, here it is. Our tiny home:  FOX 26 News | MyFoxHouston

Joy

My life has been so strange lately. I guess a lot is up in the air at the moment and the uncertainty makes me anxious. But I'm learning how to embrace it and just go with the flow. But it's hard to walk along blindly without a destination, you know? It's kind of like being in limbo. 
But I wanted to get out of my funk for the day! So a little joy post is in order. Here are some things bringing joy to my life today:

> It's my birthday week! My birthday is this Sunday. It feels pretty weird, I'm still not really ready for it. But I've got a jam packed weekend which should be pretty entertaining. I'm turning 24. Nothing significant, just another year under my belt. 
> It's *spring* and absolutely beautiful here. Not to mention, it's Earth Day! I guess I've got some serious Earth appreciating to do on this fine day! 
> It's almost summer and I can. not. wait. to do some traveling and satisfy my inner gypsy. Counting down the days. 
> Sam Wish has been doing beautifully lately. I've gotten my products into two more store in the last few weeks and am pretty excited about it! I've also got plans for some big shows this summer which is always a fun time. 
> I've been taking things pretty easy the past couple of weeks. Which is a nice change of pace. Spending more time working on my personal life than anything else. And just spending a lot of time with myself. It is much needed. 
> Still keeping up with my workout routine even when it feels like a drag. I've been doing a lot of yoga lately too. I find that when my life starts getting emotionally rough, I always go back to yoga. I'm not sure if it's the "feeling in control" aspect of it or the fact that it's just so calming and grounding that helps so much. Regardless, it's been really really helpful. I love it. 
> Meeting beautiful people and making great new friends. Have you ever met someone that you instantly connect with and they just like..... get you? I met a person like that recently and it's so nice to talk to someone that you don't have to fully explain yourself to because they already know. I'm not the biggest talker (ironically enough, since I have this blog and all) but it's nice to have a friend that you can talk to that understands you almost as much as you understand yourself. It makes life easier.
> My friends and family have been amazingly supportive and just overall caring lately. I so sincerely love all of the people around me, they truly make life worth living. Over the years I've tried to surround myself with only the best people and it's times like these that make it apparent how important that is. 
> My days have been filled with hard but insightful conversations lately. Lots of heart to hearts, lots of emotions, lots of life's tribulations but lot's of really important talks and realizations. The wind is blowing, things are changing. 
> Life is crazy and blows me away every single day. I am constantly surprised at what it throws at me. Sometimes I get so caught up in the current of it that it gets hard to deal with but then sometimes I'm just like floating above, watching it all unfold. It's so strange. Life. What a crazy, beautiful thing. 

Hope you guys are doing well. Much love. 

Sam Wish // New Thingzzz

We've listed a few new things for Sam Wish since the last time I posted about it. And here they are! 
   
> Healing Salve // An all-in-one healing salve to help treat any skin condition you might have! It can help heal psoriasis, eczema, acne, or help to heal cuts, scrapes, burns, bites, bruises, scars, rashes, and more!
> Aluminum-FREE Deodorant // Did you know that antiperspirants on the market today use aluminum to clog your pores, keep you from sweating, and inhibit your body's natural process of releasing toxins? Well, getting tired of lathering aluminum all up in my own armpits, I created this deodorant that is free from harmful chemicals to avoid putting my health at risk anymore! And now I've put it out into the world for you to try out too!

> Face Serum // Skin care can be tough and the face is no exception. So at Sam Wish, we have formulated 3 blends of face serums for an array of issues and sensitivities to suit your specific skin type. These blends collaborate with your own oil production to promote a balanced and smooth complexion. They go on light and did I mention, they're non toxic?!

> Small Spa Gift Set // This gift set has a little bit of everything, a luxuriously healing bath soak to carry away the stresses of your day, a moisturizing sugar scrub to exfoliate that beautiful skin and make it glow, as well as a tube of our lip balm to sooth those luscious lips!

 
> Perfume Sample Pack // This adorable little box is filled with 4 of our healing scents, including our newest, Enchant! Perfect for sampling our oil perfumes or to give as a gift this holiday season. 
> Small Bath Soaks // Instead of investing in a larger bottle, choose one of our bath soaks in a 4 oz size to give it a whirl!
Sam Wish has been bringing me so much joy lately, I finally feel like it's picking up and going places. Pretty much the best feeling ever (:  Hard work = paying off!