Thursday, November 20, 2014

Where I'm At

Hey guys. I know it's been a while, my posts have definitely been far and few between. Every time I try to get back at it, I just fall off the wagon again. I've just been in a weird.... place lately. Now that we're done or practically done with the house, I've been trying to figure out where to go or what to do next. And it's kind of scary. I've been so focused and devoted to finishing the house for over a year and a half now, to be done..... it makes me feel kind of lost and off-track.

So this is where I'm at. 

I'm trying to pick up my business again. I've been really reevaluating everything, taking out products that aren't doing well or that aren't quite right and making a really solid product line so that I can figure out how to make this thing work. I've been taking it slow, I really want to make sure everything is just right. But again, it's kind of scary. The tiny home project seemed like such a big task but in the end, we didn't need anyone else's approval to succeed or get it done. But it's so different with my business. I completely rely on other people to be successful. I rely on my customers, wholesalers, and consigners for my business to be doing well and that pressure is really getting to me. I suppose the lesson here is that I shouldn't concentrate on other people's opinions and just worry about how I feel about my business, what I think is the right choice. But it's a lot easier said than done. I mean, other people matter too right? So how do I make sure I'm satisfying everyone else while staying true to myself? 

That and I've been having a few ups and downs lately. With life in general. Just trying to find a balance with everything and feel like I actually have my shit together. 

I'm trying to move forward and get excited about making things again but there's a lot of fear that I still need to work through. I guess it's just a lot of uncertainty and I don't know... lack of faith in myself? Instead of being excited about this new beginning like I usually would be, I'm just scared and overwhelmed. It's new to me, this fear, this apprehension and doubt, and to be completely honest, it's kind of freaking me out. 

Today has been a rough day though. I'm sleep deprived, under carbed, and my best friend just moved to New York (like literally today) and it's been kind of hard for me. 

Hopefully the next week will be better though. I'm excited for a big market coming up that's getting my butt into gear with making things and all. I think it will bring a lot of good things for me, emotionally and physically, including a little Christmas $$ so I can start thinking about gifts! I'm just now realizing how soon that's going to be coming around and my brain is gearing up with all sorts of ideas on things to make! 

Gosh, I didn't intend for this post to drag on for so long! But I just wanted to get that out. I feel like I've had a lot on my plate and blogging just hasn't been a priority. I need some time to go out and make things happen for myself I guess. I can't make any promises on when I'll be back to blogging but I don't think this is an end of any kind. I love blogging too much to let it go for too long. 

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