Oh guys, I have been a bad mother lately. I mean, maybe I wouldn't say bad because that's a little harsh.... more like... not terrific? I'm am guilty of being too busy anyways with school and work and the tiny home and my family but sometimes it's just so much that I can hardly handle it! I don't know if ya'll believe in the mercury retrograde but it just happened and completely turned my world upside down. I mean, I was having a mini meltdown every week! And poor Eliza. It's easy to take things out on other people, you know? Sometimes you don't even realize it and sometimes you do but just blow it off because the world goes on. And it's so easy when Eliza is running around like a crazy person to yell and blame her for being bad. I am guilty of yelling too much, taking my frustrations out on her, not being patient enough, not giving her the attention she needs, being short with her, and just being too busy.
It's so easy to lose track and think nothing of it. But I have finally slowed down a bit and realized what was happening. And it may not be that big of a deal because I'm not usually like this. But the thing with kids is that they copy EVERYTHING you do. So when she starts acting up, I know it's time to look at what my attitude has been lately. When she starts throwing tantrums and acting like a monkey on speed, I know I need to work on my patience and spend some extra time with her. She is so malleable at this age that everything can influence her and I don't want her to turn out to be an angry, frustrated little person like I tend to be towards her sometimes. It's such an important time in her life where she is learning what she can do and what she can't. I know I have things to do, I know I pile it all on my plate way too high but I can't let those things affect my parenting.
This is a reminder to myself to slow down, to be more present, to spend more time with my daughter, and to be more patient for the both of us. And the holiday season is the perfect time for this! I am going to relearn how to be productive but also leave some time for my baby! I thought I could just work and work and work and soon this would all be over but let's get real. This is my life happening now and I need to make the best of it in the present.