Saturday, September 8, 2012

A Few Things: Life Lately

IMG_8929Ahh, where do I start. Well first off, we are all back in school. For us, that means Eliza and I go to school Tuesdays and Thursdays and both Brandon and I take a few online courses. Things get a lot more hectic but it's kind of nice to get back in the routine. 
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(Ugh, mommmm! No more pictures!!)

And it's nice to have that time on Tuesdays and Thursdays to have a break from Eliza and focus on school and work. 
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(her new school gear, the backpack was a gift. Eliza & I picked out the hippo lunch box)
That doesn't happen often, even when I go to work and Brandon watches her, I can get kind of stressed out. I'm not sure why. I guess it's just pressure? Like I feel as if it's an inconvenience for him that he watches her while I work? I don't know. It's not the same. 
As of today, I'm trying to incorporate naps back into our schedule. Eliza hasn't been napping for over a year but with waking up early, I think we're going to need them. And let's be real, I could use the peace and quiet to keep me sane and have a chance to clear my thoughts in the middle of the day.
I find myself getting stressed out about work lately. Now that I don't have much time, I am kind of being stuck doing all the lame parts of my business and not getting enough time to do the fun parts (making clothes, getting supplies, planning photoshoots). So now, I kind of dread going to work. This is something I'm really struggling with. I hate that it has turned into "work" but with school taking up most of my free time, it's hard to fix. 
But enough with the negativity. Something I am excited about is fall. God I can't wait until fall. It has been a heck of a summer. Thinking about fall clothes (for the shop) gets me so excited about cooler weather. But then I walk outside and the heat is just suffocating. Bleh. I hear there MAY be a cold front coming through this weekend, I'll be crossing my fingers! 
Another recent change, a BIG change, has been our plans for the future. If you read my post to Brandon then you kind of have an idea of what we've been going through. It's been really exciting but really scary. Brandon wants to quit his job to follow his dreams which I am all for. However, this means we will have no security net. He pays most of the bills so this is kind of a big deal. And because my income is so undependable, it's hard to plan for. 
This decision also means that we can make a lot of changes. For one, it will not hold us back from moving. Really, him having a job here is the only reason we have stayed for so long. School too but we will be done in the next semester or two. So with that in mind, we have been kind of thinking of moving back to our home town. This is something I thought I wouldn't like but the more I think about it, the more I like the idea. I love our hometown, it's so pretty and we will be around more people we know. 
Something I have been desperately lacking here is nature. Where we grew up was basically a forest, now there are houses, schools and stores but it's still heavily wooded. This is something I'm looking forward to the most. I can take Eliza on walks, go to parks, all the places I used to love. It's strange, I feel like I'm being pulled back. Or maybe called? Does that sound weird? I just have this strong urge to go back. I think I will be much happier there. Majority of our family is up there and with all the extra help, life will be a lot less stressful. I just think that right now, it's the best move for us. We have to accomplish a lot in the next few years (like build our careers! and for Brandon, maybe going to a university?!) and we could use all the help we can get!
However, this poses some difficulties. Right now, I work out of my dad's house. So I'll have to figure out a place to work from. We are thinking of moving in with my sister so I would have to find a place to work from. Brandon won't have a real job so getting our own place with an extra bedroom for a studio would be difficult. I'm not quite sure what we're going to do about that but I guess I have a while to figure it out.
Whatever decision we make, we can't do anything until at least after Christmas. I won't be done with school until at least the spring semester so it might even have to wait until then. Ugh, waiting. I have this thing where once I get excited about a plan, it's reaaaaally hard to wait. I just want to do it NOW. This may be why I am getting so stressed out about our current situation. I just have to chill out and try to take it day by day. I want to work as much as I can to help out with bills but really, my priority needs to be school and finishing so we can get out of here! 
I guess day to day life is what I need to focus on. Just doing the best I can everyday without driving myself crazy. My brain has been a jumble but I think that will settle down once the school routine sets in. I'm trying to find peace everyday in little ways. Trash talking with my sister in words with friends ;), making mini pies, cooking (you already know, I am loving cooking), squeezing in a few minutes to cuddle with Brandon before going to work, our nightly Star Trek episodes (we're addicted), Buffalo Wild Wings on thursdays (I know, it's bad), and the best of all, cuddling with Eliza every night (yay co-sleeping!). It's the little things right? 
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