Saturday, August 18, 2012

A Few Things: For Brandon

**Away at my market, chasing my dream. I thought this would be appropriate. I wrote this almost a week ago**

The last week and a half has been a whirlwind. We went on vacation together, I went on a vacation without him and then I got back and we spent the whole weekend seeing each other only a few times. In that time I have missed him a lot. But I think it does us a lot of good to have time apart because it makes everything better when we are finally together again.

I love that guy with all my heart. We’ve grown so much since we first started dating and it’s amazing to be able to do it together and learn more about each other and life in general as we go along. He is so strong, and honest, and beautiful inside and out. He’s got a really good heart and a lot of passion. He pushes me to work harder and brings me back to reality when I get carried away. We don’t have a lot of really deep conversations but when we do, they’re really good. And today was one of them. He told me that he had a self-realization about his fears in life and thinking about his future. Basically that he wants to find passion in something and not be afraid to go for it but it’s not as easy said as done. And it was something I can really relate to a lot with my business and trying to make it work. I absolutely love what I do. “Fashion” to me is an art. It can be so beautiful. But making art is scary. It’s vulnerable. You’re prone to failures and it can be disheartening. I’ve always tried to be a positive person. I always try and try and try. Yes, it’s scary but it’s passion that compels me and the thrill of creating and the excitement when you finally make something you can be proud of that keeps me going.

A lot of the stuff I first started sewing was really bad. And some of it now is still not AMAZING but I’ve gotten so much better and learned so much that I really can be proud of my work. And I try to put that same effort into blogging, photographing, and designing in general. I try to project my style into the “look” you see on here and on my store website.  I want it to represent my character, my beliefs, my attitude, as well as my mood. And that goes for everything I create, I try to materialize all of that, me basically, into my products.  Not exactly an easy thing to do, it just takes a lot of time, practice, and dedication.
This is a huge part of my life. Creating. Passion. The scary-ness of it all, trying to make a living out of it with no stability or reassurance of a solid monthly pay check. But it’s all worth it. My life is so much richer and I love it.

I’m so proud of Brandon. I’m so grateful that he gets up and goes to work at 3 in the morning so that we can live in our apartment. I’m so grateful that at the end of the month when I have hardly anything to contribute to rent that he still loves me and supports me. I appreciate it so much because all of his hard work allows me to have the opportunity to do what I love. I know he’s not happy with his job and he does it anyways. And for so long he’s been kind of wandering what he wants to do for the rest of his life and trying to find passion in something he can make a career out of. For a while he was kind of lost but I think he has finally found his way and is on a path that will get him there.  I want so much for him to be happy. I want him to be able feel the sheer happiness and sense of accomplishment that comes from creating.  I love to see him pour his heart into making something. It makes me so extremely happy. It’s something we can share. I can know what he’s feeling because I have felt it too. And that’s the best feeling to share. Whatever art form he may choose, it means so much to me that we can relate on something that is such a big part of my life. And I hope someday that he can follow his dreams and make it a big part of his as well.

On an ending note, here are a few words that are close to my heart. For my dear boy:

Believe in yourself. You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you stop to look fear in the face… You must do that which you think you cannot do… The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.

- Eleanor Roosevelt

I love you Brandon. 

IMG_5162 copy