Thursday, June 28, 2012

A Few Things: Body Love

I know my first couple of "A Few Things" posts were kind of downers. Sorry about that! But this one is positive (:  So here we go! 

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I'm sure all of you can relate but as far back as I can remember, I've been self-conscious about my body. That's really sad to say but it's totally true. I am not overweight but I am not perfect either. And especially now, after having a baby, I'm especially self-conscious. But lately, I've been learning a lot about taking care of my body through the products I choose to put in/on my body and just taking better care of myself in general. I'm learning to appreciate the fact that I even have a body, a healthy body, one that works pretty darn well most of the time and I really haven't been taking very good care of it. It's something that I think a lot of people take for granted. 

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This is something I've felt really passionate about lately, partly because I want to learn for myself to better my life but also to learn so that I can pass it on to Eliza so that she can be as healthy (body and mind) as possible. 

I've been reflecting on why I am so self-conscious and how I came to be that way so I can take steps to change it. And I wanted to share a few things I've learned and that help me. 

Now, I love clothes. That's what I do for a living. As I've been learning to simplify my life and attempting to become less materialistic, it's been hard to justify "fashion". Although, I don't really believe in fashion. I don't like what I think of when I think of fashion. I like clothes and style and dressing up. But when I think of fashion I think of anorexic models, name brands, and highly inflated prices. Sad. So I really don't like that word. Because when I think of what I do, what I enjoy, and how I look at "clothes", I think of creativity. Art. My body. I love putting an outfit together, how a shirt can change a whole outfit. I dress for my mood, however I'm feeling be it colorful & playful or neutral and down to earth. I dress in comfortable clothes. I dress in a way that makes me feel pretty. I dress for my body type, in a way that makes me feel good about my body. And I've noticed lately that when I look in the mirror, I don't think "ugh, this makes me look fat". And that is a really good feeling. When I dress, I dress to feel good about myself and to be comfortable. Period. I don't try to squeeze into things that don't fit me because I know I'll just be uncomfortable and worrying about how I look the whole day. So I guess my point is that I use clothes to decorate this beautiful body of mine not to make my body something that it's not. 

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Ah, this man of mine. He's so cute :)

No clothes: 
As much as I love clothes, sometimes I just don't feel like wearing clothes, darnit! And that's perfectly fine. Sometimes, it's just too dang hot to wear clothes anyways. Now, that doesn't mean that I walk around naked all the time (I'm not that brave yet). Usually it's just me in my house wearing a sports bra and some comfy undies (to much information?). But I feel like this has had a big part in me loving my body more. Whenever I pass by a mirror, hey, I look at myself. Who doesn't? But since I'm walking around half naked all the time, I've gotten used to it and don't point out every single imperfection of my naked body every time I look in the mirror. And that's also a really good feeling too. There are those occasions when I stop at the mirror for a little too long and start to think bad thoughts but I just try to stop myself and be appreciative. Because it's so easy to narrow in on those stretch marks on my tum-tum but instead, I try look at my body as a whole and appreciate it for what it is. Loving the way you look is a freakin' hard thing. Go naked and enjoy it! This is also a great way to get motivated about treating your body better (i.e. eating well... and working out which I need to do...). I apologize if I sound like a nudist. But sometimes I just like being el natural, ok?! .... I'm really not a nudist. 

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Ok, I love my body. I love doing all the things my body allows me to do. But to do those things, I need to fuel myself with good food to allow myself to do them! I don't want to eat vegetables grown with chemicals. I don't want to eat processed foods that'll just make me feel sick. I want to be energetic! I want to be able to play with my daughter, I want my daughter to be healthy! It's as simple as that. Eat healthy and your body will feel good and look good and make you feel better about yourself. This is something we've been working on a lot lately. We went vegetarian this week and I am pleasantly surprised. We've had the best food we've possibly ever made and non of it involved meat! And when I think of meals with meat, the meat is really not even the best part. It's certainly not the healthiest part so why? We're also looking into a local csa to start getting local/organic fruits and veggies. It's kind of fun, I feel so much more connected to the food I buy rather than buying a box of god knows what and following the directions to make our meals. It's very humbling, learning to cook food from scratch. It makes you appreciate where your food comes from and the effort that goes into growing food. And a long with that, we've started a little garden! We can't grow much right now but we've got some tomato plants, some peppers, a few herbs, and lettuce! I hope that someday we can have a steady stream of lettuce so we never have to buy that again. Wouldn't that be cool? Just picking your lettuce everyday for a *fresh* salad? 

Oh, also the pictures are from an "engagement" shoot Brandon and I did. I thought it was kind of appropriate. I've been wanting to take some couple pictures for a while but couldn't decide on a theme. What to wear? What location? And then I just decided to take all of that out of the equation and just do it in our home, with no clothes. (tmi again?) I wanted them to be... raw, simple, natural. Just Brandon and I cuddling in our bed. (nothing sexual, guys). It's just the most comfy and sacred place in our house. Where we all lay down to sleep (Eliza too!). Where we spend family time, playing. And to take clothes out of it was just kind of obvious. Because I didn't want them taking away from the main purpose of the pictures. Us. So that's that. And then I went a little crazy in photoshop.... It's whatever ;)

Anyways, enough of my rambling.... I hope this isn't too weird. I feel like I'm starting to get crazier and crazier. I'm sure my family thinks I'm wacko but to me it's just becoming more normal. The way earth intended it. The world's a crazy place, ya know?

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