Friday, November 20, 2015

Seattle Roadtrip: Part 4

Then we left to go even more south to meet up with my family in San Diego. We drove through LA right at sunset and got into San Diego just in time for bed. 

One of my favorite things to do in San Diego is go to the Cabrillo National Monument and explore the tide pools. So I had to take Jordan there. We spent most of the day there before we had to take off to head back to Texas. 
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Guys, meet my family. We look kind of a hot mess here but whatever. I love these guys. 

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Then it was back on the road to Texas! 

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We drove through the whole night. And by we, I mean Jordan drove the whole night because he wouldn't let me. And at midnight, it turned into his birthday. We drove into town soon after sunrise. It was beautiful. 
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We would spend the next two or three days together before parting ways. Things were never really the same after that. And I think the worst part is, I'm not sure I'll ever have the chance to be with him for that much time ever again. I keep hoping and hoping. But you never really know. You know? 

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Thursday, November 19, 2015

Seattle Roadtrip: Part 3

I keep thinking about showing him these pictures. But the one time I brought it up, he did not have a great reaction to the idea of seeing them. 

And then I think, ya that's probably for the best. 

I don't know how it would make him feel. Especially combined with all of the words I've spilled out all over this webpage. But who knows, maybe he already has. Maybe he's reading these very words that I am typing out right now. But again, who knows. 

And then I think, what would I say if he did? If he saw all of this and asked why I posted them now. Because he probably, most definitely would ask that. What would I say? Why am I even posting these now? 

At this moment in time, I feel like I'm right in the middle of either something really good or something really horrible happening between us. And while my mind is running with the millions of ways things could go wrong, my heart has settled on rejecting that kind of fear. Because in the end, what is that going to help? Right now, I am weary but hopeful. And in a surprisingly optimistic mood. But I'm not sure how long this is going to last. And I'm not sure what is going to happen in the very near future that could effect it. So my feeling is, that after this, I don't know if I will have the ability to continue looking at these pictures with such an optimistic view. I don't know if I'll ever be able to look at these and feel as ok as I do now. I don't know if looking at these pictures a week from now, will completely destroy me. So I better post them now. Because I just don't know. 

And I'm ok with that reality. So realistically, now is going to have to do. Because I don't know if tomorrow will. 

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After we were done with Mt. Rainier, we headed farther south towards Mount St. Helens. We took a little tour of the Ape Cave Lava Tubes at the base and then drove through the red woods where we camped for another night. That was probably one of the scariest camping experiences I've ever had. It was so moist that dew was falling off of the trees all night, making us think there were animals scavenging around everywhere. And I'm sure there were. But I most certainly did not want to know about it. 

After we made it through the redwoods, we stopped in Sacramento to stay with Jordan's brother and his fiance for 2 nights. It was fun to meet more of his family and we did some early birthday celebrations (for Jordan) which involved rock climbing and Italian food eating complete with embarrassing restaurant birthday singing. 

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We stopped along the coast for a break and spotted some sea creatures. I can't remember what they were now, but I'm thinking dolphins? The view was beautiful. There's nothing quite like the west coast. 
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And of course, we stopped at the Trees of Mystery to say a quick hey to Paul and Babe. We didn't have time to stay and explore. But maybe next time. 
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